The Process

For the past 3 seasons, the Philadelphia 76ers have the worst record in the National Basketball Association (NBA).  And that was exactly what they wanted.

5 years ago they concocted a plan.  The worst team in the NBA has a higher chance of getting the highest draft pick – therefore getting the best talent that is coming into the league.

So instead of being a middling team and having little/no chance of ever winning the championship – you might as well be the worst team for a while and get the best talent giving you a higher probability of winning the championship 10 years down the line.

The Process was ridiculed as a joke.  Fans booed there terrible team and analysts derided a strategy based upon losing.

Yet in life there is a process to getting whatever it is that you want.

Since the last time I’ve posted here I’ve been doing quite well.  My personal development journey has continued a pace, I’ve discovered more about myself in the last year than ever before.  I’ve got a wonderful girlfriend and a job that I enjoy.

That itch remained everyday.  The gift that I’ve been blessed with not being expressed.

I would still tell people I was a writer.  They would ask ‘What do you write about?’ ‘Uhhh personal development stuff’

Truth is I didn’t really know.  I hadn’t been engaging in the process.

Actually in a inverse way I had been.  Because as much as doing the work is part of the process – understanding what life is like when you don’t put in the work is part of the process too.

When one is bestowed the blessing of choice he is blessed beyond belief.  Because at one point there was no choice.  Life was just a certain way and that was how it would always be.

Now I know it can be different.  I know that.  And the inaction is a part of that.

So there’s two paths as they’re always are.  To be or not to be as a lonely Dane once exclaimed that is the question.

We all have amazing aspirations.  Whether that’s a new job, relationship, book whatever it is.  And there is a process to all of it.  We’re never lost on how to do things. This is the Google era if you want to know how someone probably already wrote a book about it.

Are we willing to engage in the process?  To take the action, fall flat, and then come back and take it again.  To understand the different experience between a life of action and a life of inaction and make a choice?

So look out for the Philadelphia 76ers.  They began to show signs of improvement and we’re not the worst team in the league.  They fully embraced their process whatever the cost.

Will you?

Will I?

Awareness brings the crossroads.

Choosing to act brings the adventure.

Start With Fu…..

Isn’t it supposed to be fun ? Like why do I write and express myself if it ain’t fun?

I used to have a site called Getting Off The Bench. It was all about creating media which would inspire people to play the game and create. Businesses, books, blogs….just to stop watching what others are doing and get out onto the park with them.

Looking back on that time, there was so many amazing things I achieved. Getting free office space in a marketing company, interviewing one of my heroes Andrew Warner, getting professional video interviews done for free, creating a podcast on itunes….

I’ve yearned for that spirit. I didn’t know what I was doing at the time. I was doing it because I enjoyed it.

It was fun.

Professional athletes all start in the same place. Playing football down the park or racing there friends in the street. And they keep doing it.

Because they love the game.

I lost that element of fun. That’s the basis of everything. As the journey continues there will be days where it is certainly not fun.

But that is where it starts.

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary they say.

Well guess what comes before both of them?

What Do I Want?

‘Ambition, I have come to believe, is the most primal and sacred fundament of our being. Te feel ambition and to act upon it is to embrace the unique calling of our souls. Not to act upon that ambition is to turn our backs on ourselves and on the reason for our existence’ – Steven Pressfield

To even write this post scares me. What do I WANT? Because as the master of my destiny…..I know i can have whatever it is I want.

Creativity

I want to have an established online platform with thousands of supporters on an email list
I want to write and publish a book
I want to get paid to do public speaking

Wealth

I want to have an online business that generates £2,000 a month
I want to move into my own apartment
I want to have the finances available to buy a car

Adventure

I want to travel to America for World Domination Summit 2017
I want to go to South Africa and visit my best friend

Health

I want to be able to cook healthy meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner
I want to be actively exercising for at least 2 days a week
I want to weigh 11st and have a body that is lean with muscle

Relationships

I want to be in a long term relationship with someone I love
I want to be meeting with friends weekly and going for coffee/dinner

Family

I want my family to not be concerned with paying the bills
I want to be able to support my Mum financially to do whatever she wants to do

It’s alot….and writing it I realized it’s a start. And a direction to go in.

Forward!

Live Like No One Else So You Can Live Like No One Else

When thinking about this blog and what the message I want to share with the world, the theme personal leadership comes to me.

Taking control of the direction of your life.  To be the cause in what it is I want from life.  Yesterday I wrote about targets and having a goal in mind.  An aim and an objective to pull me forward.

I haven’t established my wants.  There are many of them!  That is what I’ll write about tomorrow.  To get what it is I want, I have to do those things I’ve never done.

Live like no one else.

I’m starting Fizzle’s 10 Week Course (Start A Blog That Matters) this week.  And today I signed up to a 6 month personal development leadership programme.  I didn’t do it because somebody told me.  Or I didn’t stop because somebody advised the other way.

I did it because this is the direction I want to go in.

At this moment I’ve just got a new job in Nando’s.  Income is not exactly at the ‘rich’ level.  And I’m recovering from addiction in the process.

They’ll always be an excuse to not start.  Can’t write.  Can’t afford it.  Don’t have the time…

But fuck it let’s do it.  It’s a no-lose situation.  I’ll learn either way.  And the alternative of stagnation, regret and possibly falling into something deeper if I don’t go after what I want is crap.  I’ve lived that some I’m going a different route.

I need to establish what it is I want.  And there are many things I can’t do…..now.  If I keep on this journey and do the work, will I be able to do them?  Yes I absolutely believe that.

I’m just a man like the people I look up to and admire….there human beings like me.  So if I

a)  Establish a target

b)  Find a process to follow

c)  Follow that process

d)  Be vigilant and aware of my flaws and then take action to transform them

e)  Go to the finish

Why can’t I be where they are and have what I want?  There’s no reason.

It won’t be easy.  But hey if it was everyone would do it right?

And as an explorer….isn’t our job to go on a path no one has been on, and bring the lessons back to make it easier?

To live like no one else, you must live like no one else.

The First Destination

Targets dictate weapons…and weapons dictate movement…. I was reading a book (Unleash The Warrior Within) and it struck me.  I don’t set goals.  And that is a factor in why I often lose momentum and that buzz.   Because I don’t know where I’m going. I just do stuff.  Like the writing….I’ll just write.  Now that’s positive….after a while if it’s not leading to something….if I haven’t established the target I end up drifting away.

I read this book when I was 19.  At that point I had just been removed from University after my first year.  I spent a lot of time on the coach wondering why I was so weak.  Why couldn’t I finish anything?  Why was I a failure? So as you for I searched ‘mental strength’ on Amazon.  And this came up. There was one aspect of the book I have never gotten into.  Goal setting.  I thought it was limiting. I think maybe I was scared.

When I think about setting a goal like have 5,000 email subscribers in 6 months….my chest seizes up.  I’m scared of establishing the target yet it is the target that pulls me forward.  It will enable me to see what is necessary (weapons) and how to use them on a daily/weekly basis (movement). As I wrote yesterday this is an adventure.  Where anything can be created.  Yet like any adventure there needs to be a first destination.  A 3-6 month goal to keep me focused and on track.  Or else it’s much more likely I’ll drift away….. I don’t know what that target is right now.  Maybe it doesn’t have to be some random number plucked from thin air.

What I do know is my course is plotted. Over the next 10 weeks I’ll be taking the start a blog that matters course by Fizzle.  I’m ready to learn from the experts.   Plot my course and move in that direction. And often as I move….the target becomes that much clearer

The Philosophy

‘In every seed lies the promise of a forest’

- Deepak Chopra

As I look out into the ocean from my boat….I see space.    I’m no longer looking back at what could have been, questioning why I did certain things.  Why I wasted all that time in addiction.  I’m looking forward.

I am the master of my own destiny.  Currently I reside in a town in Essex called Grays.  I have no job.  I live with my family in a small room upstairs.

Yet I get excited.  At all that is possible.  At I can create.  How my external reality can change.

Yet I can’t live in the future.  One day at a time this journey is taken.  One moment at a time.  There is no other way.  Living in the future is as bad as living in the past.  Anything that takes me out of this moment……that has me derive unhappiness and sadness with my circumstances is one step to no movement.

I took the cold shower this morning.  I meditated.  And now I write.   This is the watering off my seed.

What will become of this blog?  Who will read it  Whose words will it touch and inspire?  Who will I meet through it’s creation?

I don’t know.  And that’s the beautiful thing.  This can go anywhere.   I can do anything.

At any moment my past is waiting there to grab me.  To take me back into the world of isolation and fear.  Sitting in my bed with my duvet over my head cutting of the world and all possibilities.  It can happen just like that.

There is much to learn.  Habits to build.  Creative muscles to strengthen.  Structure to develop.

It is all out there for me.  There’s something comforting in that alone.  At my core I am pure possibility.

There’s no easy routes.  No short cuts.  No lottery wins.

Just daily practice.  And daily practice.  And daily practice.

And actually….that makes it a whole lot simpler….

Doing The Basics

‘There’s no history of anything happening until it does……

And then there it is’

Dr Ann Maria DeMars

I was eager to write part 2 of the seven deadly flaws….the actions.  Then I paused….I was falling into a similar trap.

This time it’s going to be different and I’m going to do all of these things!

Hold up I thought….you got to walk before you run.

Thinking is great because I’m like a manager of my own football team….I go back and watch the footage of the last match…see what I didn’t do write, what i can approve….get feedback from my coaches (friends and family).

Thinking something never made it real.  And some of the greatest planners in the world never got anything done.

So as I was procrastinating today…I anted to take a bold action.  So I took a cold shower.  And that shower was COLD!

I delayed it.  And delayed it….then finally hyped myself up and jumped in.

And it hit me……this is what it is.  Uncomfortable action building confidence.  Then leading into another uncomfortable action.

Which lead me to writing this now.

As much as I’ve written and posted for a good few days now….I haven’t been intentional.  So I’m going to do two things for the next 7 days as a minimum in the morning.

Cold Shower

Write

Within the first 2 hours of waking up.

The is to get flow.  It’s not knowing what to do…it’s the discipline and momentum to actually do it.

The greatest of adventures often start with the seemingly innocuous….yet important first destinations.

And there it is.

The Seven Deadly Flaws (Part 1)

As I press on in this journey I’m aware of the past.  Why is this time going to be any different?  I started this blog in October 2013 and since then there’s been intermittent periods of action ad writing….and many periods of procrastination and inaction.
So I’m taking stock.  What happened last time?  Or should I say who was I last time?
Before:
A) Addict
The major factor in my failure wasn’t that I was an addict…it’s that I didn’t know I was an addict!  So the natural boom and bust of addiction I just thought I was a weirdo.
B)  Ill-Disciplined
Discipline and hard work is not something that comes easy to me.  Of the many talents I have, that is not a natural skill.  Showing up at the time I say….and staying there until the end.!  I’d be lucky to even make it to the desk!
C)  Watcher
As much as reading and podcasts inspire me…..they were inspiring…there success and achievement…and then….
nothing.
D)  Ego
Thinking I knew better than the experts….people who had wrote bestselling books, acclaimed public speakers and bloggers.  That I would do it my way and not the way they were showing me!
E) Isolated
Not telling anybody what I was doing!  Especially my family.  Not sharing my work.  Having no investors in the dream
F) Immature
I want it now!  I don’t want to work for it.  I’m not getting a job and handling my responsibilities….I need the time to work on my dream!
G)  Unfocused
One day I wanted to write.  The next I wanted to make youtube videos.  And then start a podcast.  And learn build a twitter following.  Write about entrepreneurship…then about health…
Oh a new episode of game of thrones is on..cool
So those are my 7 deadly flaws.  If I’m getting stopped it will have something to do with one of these.
But I can know this and it will keep happening……
So what am I going to do about it?

The Journey To Forever

Man it goes back to 2013.  Those heady days after University when I read choose yourself and the in between. Jeff Goins and James Altucher. Two legends I looked up to. I was like yo I can do that for my generation. Share those honest stories about what I had done and what I was doing.  I always wanted to write books.  And then get on those stages and inspire people.
In those years I wasn’t consistent.  I avoided the work and addictions took that space where the work was supposed to be. Gambling was my main pursuit.  I needed to make money.  I didn’t want to get a normal job but I needed to pay the bills to fund this dream. Then I would spend so much time gambling and lose so much money the dream continued to swindle.  So I would smoke weed to forget about where i was. Forget that I was still living in my family home and was bringing in no money. That I had no girlfriend, no car…..and of course no art.  Then I would masturbate.  A lot.
I was a constant source of frustration to my family.  Like what is he doing?  Doesn’t he realize the impact he has on others?
I would emerge with new inspiration that this time would be different and this time I would really do it. How long those periods lasted for? Weeks maybe.  Often just days.  Then I would soon go back into my cycle…..
That cycle cleaned me up you could say.  Financially definitely. Tackling the gambling addiction was the first thing on the agenda.  Going to Gamblers Anonymous in May 2015 was the first step into a new world.  A world which I was not comfortable with.  I relapsed and came back in October.  And that has been the last time.
The void that left was soon filled by my other addictions. And they are what I am tackling now.  I haven’t smoked in a month and that is good progress.  And I’m maintaining abstinence now.
The dream never died.  I put it in a coma yet the calling remained.  Writing, making a difference and doing something that mattered.  That was my calling.  I can’t describe it or explain it. When I sit down at the keyboard I feel like I go unconscious and everything just spiels out of me….
But I don’t want to write with no point.  I want this to have some direction. Some purpose.  A why.
That takes work.  Discovering my voice and that which makes a difference takes work.  It’s a daily ritual. And if I go off the boil….it’s only going back to one place.  Dark isolation…
So I’m setting sail.  To tackle this like never before. Setting a time everyday where the words hit the page.  Time to read and learn.  Taking a course to start a blog that matters.
There are no other options.  I can’t outsmart the work.  Can’t out think the hustle.
But I know…this will lead to destinations I can’t even imagine……
And it all starts here.
I don’t know now.  But I’ll find out.

The Line In The Sand

When does the line get drawn?  Where do you say ‘OK, this is the moment and I’m moving forward from here’.  This moment will not wait for perfect conditions.  When the clock hits exactly 5pm or 6pm….or when you are well fed and have been on that 15 minute walk to get you’prepared’.

No the moment is whenever I want it to be. And it’s funny that when it starts, all the excuses for not starting become irrelevant.  It’s done and it’s happening.  And then it’s like ‘oh what was all the fuss about’.

Alas this is just one battle.  Tomorrow the resistance will return.  Though each time,I store a piece of memory.

Because I’ve done it before.

So I can do it again.