The Butterfly Effect – The Power Of Pain And Why It’s So Important For Growth



‘When a larvae is born it grows into a caterpillar, a cocoon & emerges as a butterfly. It had to grow & change to realize its destiny, to fly’ – Che Lingo

We all want to fly.  To spread our wings and show our colours – to live a life of passion and never ‘work again’.  A butterfly – flying in nature showcasing our colours and their talents for the world to see

Fuck it – that’s what I think anyway.  I want to be known for what I do.  I want people to be happy that I was here.  That I left them with something.  To amaze, to engage.  And that it enables me to be happy and make those around me happy.

I remember going to networking events and watching the public speakers.  Motivational speakers like Brad Burton and Tony Robbins.  People we’re on the edge of their seats.  Taking notes, smiling, dancing – the transformation was happening right there.

I knew that’s what I wanted to do.  To spread a message of endless possibilities – to say shit that matters and means something to people.  To bring something into this world


‘Be the change you want to  see in the world

How could I help anyone when I couldn’t even help myself?  That was in 2011 and I’d just gone back to Uni.  I’d been ‘removed’ for failing first year.  I got depressed, smoked a lot of weed, watched a lot of Jeremy Kyle (they definitely go hand in hand!).

I’d got over that though.  I had the first glimpse of the vision.  Entrepreneurs.  The visionaries, the game changers.  Richard Branson, Mark Zuckerberg – I wanted to be those guys.

I was still caterpillar – but I had made that decision to change.

logo (1)

‘The only decision that’s wrong is an INDECISION – Because an indecision keeps you paralyzed for life’ – Wilson Luna


That’s where it all starts.  With that decision that I WANT THIS.  I don’t want to settle for MEDIOCRE.  Fucking Uni man – a lot of its bullshit.  They want to put us into these boxes.

A friend of mine, Jeet Banerjee said it best – ‘A lot of University is designed to make us robots’


The system is designed to make decisions FOR you.  But you’ll never be happy witha decision that’s not your OWN.


We’re the microwave generation – fast broadband, fast food, fast sex.  Everything is quick!  But that dream, that transformation – that is not quick.  I read books, I went to events.  I started blogs and gave up after a week.  I had ideas that would change the world one day (the face to face chat room where you can learn a new language is still gold!), then would get frustrated at all the shit I needed to learn, go smoke up and get depressed that I was still a caterpillar the next.

All the while I was growing without realizing.  After that decision and taking that action you’re learning all the time.  I learnt that I wasn’t the only one.  That this was a movement.  Young people not settling for that straight line path.  A whole generation chasing after that dream – some already there, most not – yet still going through the same struggles as me.  There was something there.

Without realising it, those events, those down times, going through the University system again – I’d been growing the whole time….


‘Do I have angst, sure.  I’m 36 I’m getting older, I’m worried about the time.  Can I do what I said?  But I’m betting on patience, betting on getting better every year I get better – knowing that the 2006 version of me was punk compared to the 2012 version of me – because that’s the truth you keep getting better’ – Gary Vaynerchuk

This quote is from a video of entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk dropping some real personal bars on a plane.  I’ve listened to it countless times that’s the bit that always gets me.  He’s done so much – New York Times Bestsellers, Multi Millon Pound Business and hundreds of speaking Gigs – yet he knows he’s still growing.

I grew in that time period from 2011 to now.  I haven’t created that amazing business that changed the world and I haven’t rocked an audience with my amazing speeches.  But I grew.  I evolved.  I’m still a caterpillar but the wings are sprouting.

It will take time.  It took years for all the legends.  But if you ever doubt yourself, always bring it back to the mission – to the vision.  There’s nothing wrong with falling down and starting again. In fact, that’s the only way!

My wings will soon grow.  And yours will too.  Let’s fly together.  You can’t deny your heart.


Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding’ – Kahlil Gibran

  • Arabella

    nice! this really spoke to me… all with the idea of grit, persistence and perseverance and chasing those dreams… and then on the other hand, sometimes its just a case of ‘just keep swimming, just keep swimming’ because you just need to grow through the day and no one changed the world overnight

    • Dubem Menakaya

      Thanks really glad you liked it! Yeah it’s definitely a struggle and I think once you surrender yourself to the long journey ahead and keep going through the us and downs, you’ll transform without even realizing…..