The Mind Of A Self- Sabotager (AKA How To Not Pursue Your Passion And Be Insane)

What should I call my blog?  Could use my name, call it I am Limitless, The road to forever.
I can write about personal development, creating connections…business or entrepreneurship…or addiction…
What course should I take? Live your legend has a good post…then Jeff Goins has got a new course that’s interesting…of Fizzle is really cool
What will people think….I can’t say that really….I’m a compulsive gambler and marijuana addict…who the hell will listen to what I have to say
Haven’t posted in months….can’t start today…no need to be ready….need a landing page…new logo….which logo should I use….
Which style or writing should I use….write a how to post…or just general thoughts…..
I need an ebook to give away….how do I write one…..can use SJ Scott’s 21 days….or should I write a manifesto….
Oh I don’t have any money…..can’t get it printed…..what am I even writing about anyway….
Well I haven’t written in ages anyway…..maybe I should make youtube videos….I’m quite good at talking….how do I edit videos…
What am I going to talk about anyway…..the addiction thing…..personal development…..oh how about this whole stop start thing….
I can’t write that…..what will my family think me putting this out there…….
Wrote that….that is fucking trash….need to edit the shit out of it….oh it’s even worse now…
Oh for fuck sake it’s been 4 months….why the fuck did I stop…..if only I’d have kept going where would I be….you’re a fucking fool….why can’t you finish anything…..
I need to get away from this…..where’s the number need a ten bag to stop this shit on my mind….
Look at this guy….fucking hate him….look at all the likes he’s got…..he ain’t shit….but his better than me he can actually do stuff
How long will this go on for…..I know I can do it….but I can’t do it….
Oh what’s the point of writing…..nobody cares…..wait nobody cares
YES DUBEM MENAKAYA, NOBODY CARES!!!  So if nobody cares – then who has to care?  ME!  DO WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT !  YOU AIN’T HERE TO IMPRESS NOBODY.  THEY AIN’T BEEN WHERE YOU BEEN.  THEY AIN’T SEEN WHAT YOU SEEN.
So will you continue to run away from you’re calling and cause yourself more pain?
Or will you show up with authenticity, honesty and humility?  And do what you know to do?
Because as long as you care, that is all that matters.  You are free.’
  • http://www.mattheweatonwriter.com Matthew Eaton

    Ah, the eternal struggle with self-doubt and the information overload of the day. I know this quite well and hear it from the shadows from time to time.

    Thanks for reminding me this still exists for me too. Powerful stuff!

    • Dubem Menakaya

      Thanks Matthew….yes it still exists, it’s been diminishng with every post, imagine it never goes away though, it’s not going to run me now

  • http://www.reinventure.org David Ryan

    I think all of us who are using the Internet to communicate our thoughts…our souls…can identify with all of this, Dubem. You’re right…all that matters is that you care. Pure freedom. Thanks for this!