S.H.A.M.E – Self Hating At Me Everyday

Shame is the silent killer.  Because nobody knows of your shame.  You carry around it with you like keys in your pocket.  Every movement is the jangle – I’ve done wrong.  I’m a bad person.

Why did I do that?

I was doing it with this article.  Said I was going to post on Wednesday (technically it’s Thursday morning) and was getting on myself then I remembered…..

‘Whose judging you?’ a friend once said to me.

I was walking around with these thoughts.  Nobody was pointing there finger at me.

So I was punishing myself for previous experiences.  And even if somebody blasted me – I can only make myself feel that way.

Self Hating At Me Everyday.

How do you replace shame?  Well I broke it down to the basics:

1.  Can’t change the past (oh I’ve spent many years trying to!)

2.  Can change the future

3.  Darkness is the absence of light.

It’s the last point that was the one.  I had to replace the shame with love.  So I started repeating I love myself in my head.  As much as possible.

Reading spiritual text from which the light came.

Any creative endeavour is built on love.  Yet love can only be spread from a source of love.

“This too I know – and wise it were if each could know the same – that every prison that men build is built with bricks of shame,” – Oscar Wilde

I’ve been in prisons of shame.  Now I choose to live as a free man.

Peace,

Dubem Menakaya